I ain't afraid of no ghosts!

 

Ah. The Ghostbusters. We’re pretty sure everyone in the world of modern dating would appreciate their intervention with the current ghosting problem. While we’re not sure when, where or how the whole ghosting movement got started, it needs to stop. We should be better than this!

And because we believe in your ability to DIY, we have constructed a way for you to be a true ghosting-buster (see what we did there?).

For those lucky folks who don’t know what “ghosting” is, our definition is having mutual communication with another human and for reasons undisclosed, that human disappearing into thin air. This sudden disruption can happen prior to meeting in person, after meeting in person, or hell, even after engaging in a relationship with someone. There are no limits to how far ghosting goes.

What we’ve come to learn is often the person doing the ghosting ghosts because they think it’s a humane way to sever ties, they wish to avoid confrontation, or because they do not know how to actually communicate their feelings. Ironically, it can actually lead to more texts from the person they are trying to ghost, coupled with heightened emotion when the person does not receive a response.

The person being ghosted often feels a mix of anger, frustration and confusion. Like, huh? What happened? Is this person coming back? Are they gone for good?

While ghosting can seem easier sometimes, it leaves both people a little bit haunted.

So be a ghosting buster. Reflect on why you no longer want to communicate or have a relationship with the other person. Put yourself in their shoes. Think about a kind, respectful way to end things. Even if you’ve just started communicating with this person, close the loop. Though it may feel silly, even sending a text will allow both of you to move on.

Examples:

Hey John! It was so great meeting you the other night, but I’m just not feeling a connection. I appreciate your time, and I wish you the best in your dating future.

Hi Sarah, it was cool chatting, but I don’t think we’re vibing. Wish you all the best tho!

Hey Kris- I’ve had a great time with you, but getting more of a friend vibe. If you want to hang out in a platonic way, I’m cool with that! If not, it was great learning more about you.

Hi Mike, you seem great, but we’re not a fit. I’ve really liked spending time with you, but I don’t think we should continue on.

Communicate better, to date better our friends!  

Want to work on this? Contact us.

 
first datesRachel Perlstein